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After eight months as an English teacher in Taiwan, I\'d saved my money and had begun tramping around Asia. Five countries later, and a lifetime of wishing to brave VietNam, I found myself in Saigon where, for 50,000 dong ($1=8,000VND) per night, I found a clean, dilapidated character room. A real fixer-upper. The desk lady spoke decent English. "Do you know where I can teach English?" I asked her. "Mister Glenn, he from Canada, he live same floor you, room 405, he teacher." "Is he in?" "He no here." "If I leave him a note, can you give it to him?" "No problem." Big smile. Rotten teeth. Dentistry is THE growth industry in this part of the world. "Mr. Glenn," a Canadian named Glenn Loewen, left a note to meet in the lobby the next day at 1. Right on time, Mr. Glenn, a generous-in-spirit, middle-aged man, provided the address for his school, and marked its location on the city map in my guidebook. "Ask for a lady named Kim-Le. She\'ll smile the chrome off a bumper," was the only advice he offered. During my interview with Miss Kim-Le, I blazed with all my guns: previous teaching experience in a "rich" country, rudimentary Mandarin skills, and rusty French. She offered nine dollars (US) an hour, one more than their usual starting rate. "I will call you at your hotel when I have a class." We shook hands, used up the world\'s quota in thank you\'s until there was no chrome left on my bumper, and I walked home. The desk girl handed me a piece of paper along with my key. "You school call. Miss Kim-Le. You have class two days later. Congratulations, Mr. Jim." I ran into Mr. Glenn later that night in a bar, and bought him a beer in thanks. An American named Don, law school graduate, concert violinist, and pompous as hell joined our discussion. He had been in VietNam for a year or so, uncommitted to chasing the American Dream. He informed me of his school, and how to find it. The next day I tracked it down, chatted with the school\'s director, another American more self-important than Don, and decided to work for Kim-Le. And so it goes when teaching in Asia. The ostensible required teaching qualifications total two: proof of a degree, which I had but never pulled out of my bag, and to be a native English speaker, which never stopped all the Western Europeans who spoke English so well. Anything extra can get you an extra buck an hour. The unspoken rule is: Caucasians need only apply, however the stance on ABC\'s (American Born Chinese, also known as \'bananas,\' yellow on the outside, white on the inside) has softened.
The greatest challenge was to be entertaining. The students reported that they liked you, which allowed more hours, and dollars, to become available. The students, who paid to be near foreigners and glean exposure to the other side, spent the majority of each night\'s two hours speaking VietNamese unless called upon because "it\'s too hard to say it in English." "But isn\'t that why we are here and why you spend all this money?" produced a smile and not much else. On the first day of a new class, if enrolment was eighteen students, then maybe, if lucky, three showed up with an English/VietNamese dictionary. I would lay out my usual script persuading everyone to either bring his or hers or buy one. Decent Oxford dictionaries were abundant for a few dollars. Excuses alternated from "You\'re our dictionary" to "I forgot." As I established my existence around the school, I was asked to substitute for one class, a Friday evening. Twenty or so expressionless faces asked the same stock questions: Where are you from? How old are you? Are you married? How long have you been in VietNam? Can you speak VietNamese? Where do you stay? How much salary do you get? I escaped to the teacher\'s room after the protracted two hours expecting to see gallows erected. Before leaving the building however, I was appointed their new teacher by Miss Kim-Le, freshly informed by her paying customer\'s report. I shook my head all the way home, changed out of the obligatory shirt and tie, and met Mr. Glenn. "I know, Mr. Jim," he said soothingly while ordering two beers, "It happens all the time ... and the other way around, too. Don\'t forget, there\'s a teacher who has suddenly lost a class." Two nights later, Sunday evening, three students from the class, with a present in hand, were waiting at my hotel for me to arrive, and would I like to come around by motorcycle for the evening? They politely requested that I change to trousers from shorts and then we could go. Over some wonderful soup that I wasn\'t permitted to help pay for, they asked the most intimate, personal questions about past love lives and future plans. Then, sure enough, just when I felt other classes were going loftily, I\'d be replaced. The administration would be sticky sweet with good news, and colder than frozen carbon dioxide with bad tidings. Over time, I honed my teaching strategy into doing whatever I did in class and let whoever was going to get whatever they were going to get out of it. I didn\'t know the most effective way to reach and teach the students. I established a faith that somewhere, somehow, someone in that sea of blank faces was getting something out of the lesson. Mr. Glenn and I became good friends. We dissected our jobs (like all
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