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Flirting for a woman does not mean you fling your hair from side to side (in slow motion, I might add) like the girls do in the shampoo commercials, nor does it mean you have to hang all over a guy as he talks and continually rub his shoulder or leg. Flirting for a man does not mean you saunter over to a girl, buy her a drink and immediately ask her what her sign is. Sure, there are many women and men who act like the people in the scenarios above, but long gone are the days where this type of desperate flirting actually worked. Nowadays, flirting is more subtle and less suggestive; flirting has begun to prey on the intellect as opposed to the sex drive. If you are just getting out on the dating field and want to be a master flirt, try some of these tips.
* You must convey confidence in all that you do, wear and say. For instance, you walk into a bar in your torn sweats and a ratty shirt. Would you feel sexy? Absolutely not. You must love what you wear all the time and you must learn to own your outfits. Buy clothes that make YOU feel sexy and confident. You must also have confidence in what you do and say. Nobody feels compelled to flirt with a person who lacks self-esteem or the ability to carry on a conversation without degrading oneself. Love yourself and others will.
* Be aware of your body language at all times. Smile whenever you can. When you see somebody who looks interesting to you, look at them and hold your smile and gaze. It will send a definite signal that you are interested. When you are holding a conversation with that person, maintain eye contact. When they are talking, watch them intently and listen to what they are saying. One of the biggest turnoffs is somebody who looks like they are only half listening. Imagine any conversation you had with somebody who looked like they could care less about what you were talking about. Did you want to talk to them again? Probably not. In addition to being a careful listener, do your best to keep your body open. Try not to cross your arms, as this indicates that you have closed up or that you are standoffish.
* Show a genuine interest in what a person has to say by asking questions. Somebody once said that a person¡¯s favorite topic of discussion was himself and it seems to be true. By asking questions, you are not only showing that you are interested in that person, you are also controlling the conversation.
* Whether or not a person is good at accepting compliments, people love to hear good things said about themselves. You will want to stop short of any cheesy one-liners like, ¡°I hope you know a good doctor, because you sure take my breath away.¡± However, a little compliment throw into the conversation will go a long way. Of course, you will want to be sincere and sensitive when you are handing out your compliment, so if your new friend has, say, a lazy eye, you will probably want to steer clear of the ¡°Hey, nice eye!¡± compliment.
* Be yourself 100% of the time. If you hate politics, don¡¯t tell the new guy you just met that you would love to go to that political rally with him next week. If the girl you are talking to is Catholic and has just admitted she refuses to date anybody outside her religion and you are Baptist, be honest about yourself. Once a lie escapes your lips, even while innocently flirting, it is easier to build a web of different lies and that is never a good situation. Allow people to get to know you as yourself, and they will like you as you are. |
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