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If you believe your wife is cheating on you, one of the best approaches may be to come right out and ask her. Many a cheating spouse has owned up to an affair once confronted. Before deciding to confront your wife, check the list of signs and see how many, if any, apply:
1. Drastically improved appearance ??? if your wife suddenly begins losing weight, working out, taking more time for her beauty routine, begins buying lots of new clothes ???including sexy under garments- she may be doing these things to impress someone other than you. If this is the only signal you recognize, proceed with caution. Your wife may simply be making these improvements in order to look and feel better, or to spice up your marriage. If several other signs are present along with this one, you may need to confront her.
2. Extended or unexplained absences ??? If your wife is suddenly hard to reach or is not home when you return, and she stops leaving notes or gives vague answers when you ask where she's been, she could be spending this time with someone else.
3. Unexplained expenses ??? If the phone bill goes up, if she suddenly purchases a cell phone, or if the car seems to be on empty more frequently, these costs could be associated with an affair. Check out her credit cards too. Most women are smart enough not to charge a hotel room, since this would obviously lead to questions, but you may begin finding a pattern of cash advances.
4. She becomes defense or argumentative more often ??? Many people do feel guilty while having an affair, and because of this guilt, they are on the look out for accusations. If she blows up over a simple question, there could be cause for concern. If she seems to be angry all the time and instigates arguments with you, she may picking a fight so she will have an excuse to leave at unusual times without offering an explanation.
5. Callers begin hanging up when you answer the phone ??? Hang-ups are one of the most common signs of an affair. If someone hangs up when you answer the house phone, and her cell phone rings immediately afterwards, ask who is calling.
6. She is noticeably nicer and more accommodating ??? A woman who never let you out of her sight before, but suddenly encourages you to go out with the guys or "take some time for yourself" is either a great wife who finally realized she was over possessive, or she is trying to get rid of you for a while.
7. She begins running into friends you have never met or heard of before ??? When women have affairs, they are more likely to develop an ongoing relationship than to have a brief fling. This being the case, she may be moving in different circles when she is with her lover. Certainly, they will develop mutual friends over time, just as you and she have mutual friends. Also, beware of "friends" that you have never heard of before, but that seem extremely close or intimate.
While each of these signals on their own can be explained away, if several of these signs are present, your wife may well be cheating on you. It is not a good idea to follow her around to find out, as this can be interpreted as "stalking" behavior.
Instead start keeping a journal of these signals and how frequently they occur (this information may also be valuable if you end up divorcing). Once you are satisfied with the list, either confront her or consider hiring a private detective to document the affair.
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