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Location: Home > lifestyle > Relationship advice and tips: how to make a serious online relationship work
An online relationship, once it progresses to the serious stage, is difficult, time-consuming and can be heartbreaking at times. If you live far away from your loved one (and those in relationships classified as online usually do) there may be many factors preventing you from seeing that person as often as you would like, and unexpected hurdles you both must contend with.
Any long-distance relationship is painful, especially at first. If your significant other is not within driving distance (or worse, in another country) you will find yourself looking for ways to keep your romance going without breaking any hearts. This can be much more difficult than it sounds, but it is very possible.
One of the benefits of a long-distance relationship is, fortunately, that most of what you will do together is talk. This can enable things between you to develop very quickly, and help you form a major connection with that person. Talk about anything - your hobbies, your fears, philosophy or politics, or even just tell him or her about your day. Do this constantly, however you can. You likely already use an instant messenger program, but if you've been communicating through a chat room or another medium, consider one of these - it will allow you to talk one on one, and using a buddy icon or avatar (whatever the program allows) may help you feel even closer to that person. You also may want to consider carrying a cell phone equipped with an Internet browser, or even a pager, as you will doubtlessly want to have as much contact as possible.
If you spend a fair amount of time on the Internet (and if your relationship has reached the serious stages, you probably do), it is of course the optimal way to communicate. Share scans of pictures, movies, stories, or socialize with mutual friends on a forum or in a chat room. You don't even need to be discussing anything important - simply communicating with that person is often more than enough. Try to spend some time talking on the phone, however: no instant messenger can be a replacement for hearing your loved one's voice. Voice chatting can also be enjoyable, especially if you choose to invite other friends - have a karaoke night or an "open mic".
Another popular accessory to have is a webcam. These cameras can stream (continually transmit) images of whatever it is trained on or can take individual pictures. Aim the webcam at yourself while you chat or talk on the phone - your significant other will be able to see your expressions and enjoy the conversation much more. You can also create small movies of yourself, or take pictures of things around you, such as your house, car, or the town you live in. Encourage your significant other to do the same, as being able to imagine each others' surroundings can make the distance seem lesser.
"Dating" isn't really possible, per se, but there are many ways you can spend quality time with that person, using just your computer. Play an online game together - anything from a board game to a "paint chat" (a type of chat where you can draw pictures on a blank space with your mouse while talking to the person in a space provided below). Another type to consider is an online role playing game (RPG) - using many of these, you can customize your characters to look like yourselves, if you desire. Depending on the type of RPG you and your significant other could spend time doing anything the game offers, from killing monsters to getting married in an elaborate ceremony.
You have almost certainly been thinking, "when will I finally get to see them?" It's important to arrange an occasional visit where you can enjoy private time and introduce the lucky person to your friends and family. The first visit will probably be awkward and feel a bit strange, but remember how much that person means to you, and the anxiety will fade in time. Try to arrange things so that you can have a significant amount of time together, or saying good-bye will be much harder. Remember, though, that it is always going to be difficult to part from them again, and it may take days or even weeks to get over post-visit depression. Help this along by following some of the suggestions stated above - trade pictures or videos, reminisce about the visit, play games. It will get easier, and you will start to look forward to the next time you will see them.
A long-distance relationship requires almost as much or more maintenance than a regular one, and a great deal more willpower. Remember that though it may be difficult, in the end you will know a great deal more about your partner and yourself due to the limitations placed on your time spent together. You will have formed an incredible connection with this person in addition to developing your own sense of self-control and time management. If and when you close the distance between you permanently, your relationship will be stable and secure. |
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