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There is no way around it. After the wedding cake has been eaten, after the honeymoon is over, there is still one more wedding-related matter to attend to. It¡¯s time for the newlyweds to send out their thank you cards. Most couples like to procrastinate when it comes to showing their gratitude, but all the experts agree, this is one area where etiquette must not be breached.
Perhaps you feel you¡¯ve put it off for too long and it¡¯s too late, or maybe you¡¯re not sure how your note should be worded. Don¡¯t let this keep you from letting your guests know how much you appreciated not only their generosity, but also that they were able to share your special day. It may seem like a daunting task to write a personal note to 250 guests, but if you work together as a couple, the time is sure to pass quickly. Before you know it, they¡¯ll be in the mail and you can focus on other areas of marital bliss. Below are some guidelines to get you started.
- A thank you note must never be preprinted or typed. A personalized, handwritten note is expected. Many printers offer blank note cards printed in the same design as the wedding invitation specifically for this purpose. Photographers also offer blank thank you notes that come with a picture of the happy couple. The same rule applies to the envelope, it should be hand written, showing your guests they were each special enough for you to take this extra step.
- ¡°Thank you for your gift¡± will not cut it. Each gift must be noted and discussed, even if more than one gift was given. ¡°Thank you for the toaster oven, what better way for us to start our morning than with warm bread and jam!¡± not only tells the gift giver the gift is appreciated, but it also lets him or her know you look forward to using the gift. If you receive a gift of money, never mention the amount or the words ¡°money,¡± ¡°cash,¡± or ¡°check.¡± ¡°Thank you for your generous gift. We¡¯re putting it towards a down payment on a house¡± is not only a gracious way to acknowledge a money gift, but it also lets the reader know the gift will be put to good use.
- Besides thanking your guests for their gifts, make sure they know how much you appreciate their sharing your wedding day. It lets them know they weren¡¯t only invited for their gifts.
- Try not to make the card all about you. It¡¯s a good rule not to start the card with the words, ¡°I,¡± ¡°me,¡± ¡°my,¡± ¡°we,¡± or ¡°our.¡± One should also keep as many of these words out of a thank you note as possible. Try to focus more on the gift giver than the recipient. This is not the time to brag about honeymoons or house hunting.
- It¡¯s impolite to procrastinate and send your thank you notes out late. They shouldn¡¯t be put in the mail any more than two weeks after you return from your honeymoon. If you receive your wedding gift before the big day, it would be best to post an acknowledgement immediately. No matter when the gift was received, however, one must never wait longer than a month.
It may look like a monumental task to handwrite a couple of hundred thank you notes, but when you think about it, it¡¯s the least you can do. Not only did your guests take the time to select a gift especially for you, they came to share your day. Show your appreciation by thanking them in a prompt, thoughtful manner. It will start your new life off on the right foot.
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