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Breaking off a romantic relationship is often difficult. One or both persons are likely to feel hurt, rejected, or disappointed. They wonder if there is something wrong with them, and some even fear future relationships and become reclusive instead.
If you have recently broken up with someone, don't give up on love. A solid, lasting relationship takes two similar, committed people to make it work. There's nothing wrong with calling it quits when a vital ingredient is missing.
Yet, many singles grieve a lost relationship. They may feel like they have lost a part of themselves or their personal history. If you are struggling to get over someone who is no longer in your life, here are a few suggestions that may help to ease the pain:
1. Cry it out. Don't hold back; allow yourself to weep, sob, groan, and mourn the departure of someone you care about. Diane Keaton's character makes a good show of this in the recent film, SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE, when her romantic fling leaves her to return to the single lifestyle. It is normal, and even desirable, to allow yourself to feel the pain of loss. But don't carry on forever. Each day, cut it a little shorter until you are ready to put it behind you for good.
2. Pamper yourself. Buy a new outfit, join a health spa, or take a short trip. Do something practical and yet fun to feel the joy of living again. Losing someone who made you feel special means this task will now fall to you, so don't skimp. Plan an evening or weekend to do something that will make you feel absolutely wonderful.
3. Visit a friend. If possible, get together in person. A "live" visit is the best kind for sharing heart-felt emotions and empathy. But if you cannot get with a friend, make a telephone call using Web cam if you have access to it, or a regular telephone. Email is another option. Though less satisfying than the "live" choice, hearing from a friend is still an important way of feeling valued and treasuring friendships that endure.
4. Do something for others. Giving of yourself by helping others ironically can make you feel good. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Join the church choir. Help a political candidate get elected. Start a community recycling program. The more love you give away, the more you will feel loved in return.
5. Get sociable. Take an art or language class. Go bowling with a group of pals. Take your niece or nephew to a movie. Social interaction for its own sake is a great way to have fun and bond in other relationships. Make it a time of fun rather than a time to mourn. Do something you haven't done in a while or perhaps something new you've never tried.
6. Write about your feelings. Create a poem or short story. Or write in your diary (or journal) about the lost relationship. Reminisce about the good times and reflect on what you can learn from the bad memories. Your relationship then becomes a permanent part of your life through your writing.
Ending a relationship need not be all bad. Make it an occasion for exploring emotions, sharing with others, and learning from experience. |
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