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Location: Home > family > Choosing adoption: 10 hard questions to ask about yourself before adopting
If you are considering adoption, take a moment to think about these ten questions before you begin the process.
Can I handle the fact that my adopted child will not carry on my genes?
If you have spent much of your leisure time researching your family¡¯s lineage and take great pride in your family¡¯s history, you may feel regret when you realize your child does not actually carry on your bloodline. You will need to be able to set these feelings aside and realize that blood does not necessarily make a family to have the adoption succeed.
Will my family accept an adopted child?
Unfortunately, some people have strong feelings about treating an adopted child just like other family members. If a parent or other close relative is unhappy that you are adopting, you may find your child will receive few or no gifts while the ¡°real¡± children in the family receive a pile of gifts. This can be devastating to any child, but an adopted child already has enough worries about fitting in without being slighted by a member of the family.
Am I financially ready for an adopted child?
A child is the expense that keeps on spending. School clothes, food, toys, health care, and college all add up to a hefty bill. However, these expenses come after you actually have your child. If you adopt from another country, you may spend thousands before you even can bring your child home.
Do I have time for a child?
Children require a massive amount of time and energy. They literally will change your entire lifestyle. You may find yourself getting up earlier or attending soccer games instead of the trendiest new art show. Can you handle years of eating hamburgers at the local fast food joint instead of enjoying the best cuisine at the new French restaurant?
Should I adopt an older child?
Many people are willing to adopt babies, but there are usually long waiting lists for infants. Older children are often much easier to adopt and need families just as much as babies. Do you get along well with teenagers? Can you see past the chips on their shoulders to the lonely, vulnerable people inside? If you have an affinity for teens, you would probably be a great parent for an older child.
Can I handle a child with emotional damage?
Emotional abuse can damage a child just as much as physical abuse. The child may be uncertain and fearful and need constant reassurance. Sometimes, the child may become angry, instead. Either way, be prepared to be understanding and to take a lot of trips to a counselor to get the child back on track.
Can I raise a physically abused child?
Abused children require special understanding and extra love and support while they overcome their past trauma. You will need to be prepared for many years of counseling. You also should be prepared to show extra patience during the teen years. However, seeing an abused child grow into a wonderful, well adjusted person is tremendously rewarding.
Does the child I am considering have any special needs problems?
There are special needs children that need quite a lot of mental or physical treatment. Some of them have permanent problems. Before you adopt a child with Attention Deficit Disorder, for instance, you will need to find out exactly what Attention Deficit Disorder is and how it will affect a child and the child's family. If you have a low tolerance for constant humming and undone chores, you may not be ready for a child with severe Attention Deficit Disorder. However, if you are willing to love a child flaws and all, you may be fine with a child who has severe problems. Just remember to be honest with yourself when you think about whether you can handle a lifetime of problems.
Should I adopt a child of my race and culture?
While it may make no difference to you that the child you adopt is from another race or culture, you should consider the effect on the child. Can you provide the child with information about cultural traditions? Are you willing to hold celebrations for that child's culture as well as your traditional celebrations? Have you considered looking into a mentor of that child's race or culture to help your new child feel more comfortable with a different way of life?
Should I consider adopting a child from another country?
Many people decide to adopt a child from another country. Often, when they first make the decision, they are unaware that the adoption process may involve several expensive trips, piles of paperwork, and even dealings with unscrupulous local officials. Sometimes, these trips overseas lead to heartbreak when the child¡¯s country suddenly reverses its adoption policy in the middle of the process. However, if you decide you do want to adopt a child from another country, there are many support groups and agencies that can help you through the process. |
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