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Temper tantrums seem to occur at the worst time and place. Think about when things go wrong for adults and that pressure gets to us. We are suppose to be able to keep our peace but do not always succeed. Imagine a little person with strong impulses dealing with similar pressures. Children's limited vocabulary plays a large role when they are younger, they just do not have the words to express what they are feeling.
There are things you can do to head off a tantrum if you catch them early or at least calm them down. Do not be embarrassed if one occurs in a public place or store. Most people that might look are parents who have been through the same thing at some time with their own kids. Start by keeping a diary of when your child has a tantrum and what you think might have caused it.
Try to plan your day around your child's naptime. Some children are better in the mornings, others in the afternoon, so schedule regular shopping trips accordingly. Bring snacks and a small favorite toy or book to keep them occupied. A bored or hungry child is more likely to lose control. Do not forget to factor in some transition time. Some children need a little more time than others to move from one activity to another.
Sometimes humor can break up the situation. Doing something unexpected can distract your child and they might forget what it was they were upset about. Laughing is much more fun and getting him to join in gets much better results. Taking the situation or conversation in a different direction can be very effective, especially if your child still has a short attention span.
It is very important not to give in to the demand. Children quickly learn that if they have a fit at certain times, they can get what they want. So no matter how embarrassing, frustrating or loud it is, stand firm. Children need these limits, but they test them frequently to see if you really are serious. If you are afraid they may hurt themselves, wrap your arms around them and hold them firm but gently till the tantrum passes.
If the meltdown occurs at a party, just excuse yourself and take your child to another room to calm down. Once the tantrum has passed, ask him if he would like to return to the party or go home. Birthday or holiday parties can over stimulate a child, making tantrums more likely. If you notice signs of a tantrum, it may be time to leave. During holiday times, routines can slip, frustrating the child. Try to keep as close as possible to a regular schedule.
Set a good example yourself. Children take their cues from parents. If you are feeling frustrated, explain it to him and that you are going to take a break. By letting them see how to handle the situation, they can imitate and eventually it will become part of their growing personality. Do not forget about positive reinforcement when your child is doing something good. Notice the good behaviors and do not let the bad behaviors win.
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