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Popular culture often portrays life in a college dorm as non-stop excitement punctuated by the occasional class or alcohol-fueled party. In reality, living in a communal setting as a young adult can be extremely stressful. As relationships begin to form among roommates and other dorm residents, it's not uncommon to encounter your best friend, your worst enemy and an unrequited crush all living within 50 feet of your assigned room. Living in a college dorm can be truly exciting at times, but it isn't always the stress-free environment some may want to suggest it is.
Residents in college dorms often find themselves homesick or feeling alienated from the rest of their new neighbors. Some fall victim to the destructive effects of substance abuse or binge eating in order to alleviate their stress. The best that can be said for dormitory life is that it is temporary by design. At some point dorm residents are free to establish their own private living arrangements, hopefully surrounded by only those who don't bring additional stressors.
Here are five tips for coping with stressful situations in a college dorm:
1. Maintain your connection to family and hometown friends. Quite often a college freshman's first experience with semi-independent living is an imposing and impersonal dormitory. While most basic human needs such as food and hygiene are provided, college dorms are not always known for their home-like atmosphere. College dormitories are institutional living quarters, much like army barracks or hospital rooms. There is always going to be an element of sterility and impersonality in an institutional setting, even if students are allowed to add personal touches to their rooms. The realization that others have lived in this space before you and others will live here long after you're gone can lead to a sense of disorientation and stress. Many people become stressed out when they no longer have a feeling of 'ownership'.
The best way to combat this form of stress is to re-establish ties with the familiar and the safe. Call your parents and other relatives as often as you can, and aim for meaningful discussions about your feelings, concerns and experiences. Find ways to contact old friends from high school or religious groups. Chatting on the computer with a good friend can help you maintain a positive connection with the outside world. Make a point to attend family events such as weddings or reunions whenever possible. It's important to know in your heart that you have other outlets if your present dorm roommates are not interested in your personal life. The stress of homesickness often strikes hardest whenever your present dorm life seems stifling or alienating.
2. Know when to say NO. Dorm residents sometimes adopt an Animal House philosophy which drives them to seek constant entertainment. This phenomenon is not new, but it can lead to additional stress if you're not prepared to say NO
and mean it. While it may seem exciting to pull pranks on other residents or stay up all night or visit the local bars, there have to be limits and you must be the one to set them. Peer pressure can create unseen stressors when these activities create real problems academically or socially. Trying to complete an assignment at the last minute or cramming for a test you didn't expect is extremely stressful, and you will pay a price for your exploits later.
The best way to avoid these stressors is to set aside some time for mindless entertainment with fellow dorm residents and some time for dealing with schoolwork. It's much easier to let yourself go when you don't have feelings of guilt hanging over your head.
3. Immerse yourself in the total college experience, not just dorm life. A good way to avoid stressful feelings of isolation or unwelcomed scrutiny is to involve yourself in on-campus and off-campus activities. Staying occupied with projects away from the dormitory might help you keep things in perspective. Working part-time at a local shop or work-study program should provide at least a little personal spending money. Meeting other students who share your particular interests may help you develop an identity away from the politics of dorm life.
Not having enough personal spending money can lead to stressful times in a dorm setting. Depending on other dorm residents for assistance is never good for your self-esteem. It pays to know where your next meal is coming from and it also pays to enjoy the company with whom you share it. Stay busy throughout the day and you won't feel nearly as stressed out by dorm dramas.
4. Find a favorite place to hide. College campuses are notorious for having nooks, corners and crannies suitable for studying or simply getting away from it all. Whenever the pressures of dorm life become too great, look for a quiet place with few distractions. Take a long walk through the local town. Visit some shops or a local park. Whatever form it takes, knowing you can always get away from the fishbowl of dormitory living can reduce your stress level considerably.
5. Personalize your assigned space. There may be rules against busting down the sheetrock, but there's usually some leeway when it comes to personalizing your room. It's surprising what a few family photos and favorite posters can do to warm up a spartan dorm room. Having some control over your personal space can relieve a lot of homesickness and stress. Consider adding a small lamp with soft lighting to replace the harsh overhead fluorescent lighting. Leaving a stereo system tuned to a classical or jazz station might also bring a sense of calm. You don't have to actively listen to it- just leave it on as a background noise mask.
It is vital to create an atmosphere conducive to a good night's rest. Bring favorite bedding accessories from home if the dorm bed is uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Decide on a decent hour for bedtime and coordinate your sleeping schedule with roommates. The sooner you can develop a sleeping ritual, the sooner you'll be able to sleep through the night in unfamiliar surroundings. One of the most common stressors for college students is chronic sleep deprivation. It can seriously affect your academic performance as well as your personality. If you feel tired during the day, take a power nap. |
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